Picnic
by NefertariHime
Summary: UnicronPrimus fluffy slash. No, really.


_Yes, yes, Unicron is not a god in some of the continuums, but he is in others, and that's good enough for me. Anyway, slash! Yay! Also, references Transformers: The Movie, what with the whole Matrix and Hot Rod business._

**Picnic**

He watched the stars above him, shining steadily and coldly. Half the sky was dominated by a spiral galaxy, flickering with a blue-green sheen. Well, if nothing else the location earned points.

"Primus."

The plain on which they sat seemingly stretched from one end of the universe to the other and, he supposed, in a way it did.

"You're ignoring me."

Wretchedly beautiful shapes, twisted and rounded, glimmered in the starlight. Everything had a green glow; _he_ had always liked green, after all, and they were currently in his vast mind-space.

"Are you still mad about that Yyrikahn business? I still don't see the problem."

"They were nearing," he said icily, "the peak of their civilisation."

A long-suffering sigh. "So are so many other planets. I don't see the problem with this one."

"Every planet is unique!" Primus gritted his metaphorical teeth and calmed the hysteria in his voice. "Just because an equally advanced civilisation exists elsewhere, does not mean you can just... go around eating willy-nilly!"

"I have a voracious appetite."

"Unicron!"

The Chaosbringer sighed and stretched the flimsy shadows that made up his wings in astral form. "You take this too seriously."

"Peoples die! Planets are destroyed! Yes, I take it seriously!"

Unicron rolled those pretty pits of green light, making a helpless gesture at the sky. "I don't know why I bother sometimes."

"Oh, you bother when you have to wheedle back into my good graces," said Primus snappishly.

"Stop being snappish."

"I am not being snappish."

"You are." And suddenly he was there, all dark shadows and fiery highlights; green, green eyes and fanged smile. "You're being a horrible nag." Clawed fingers trailed Primus' shimmering body. Molded lips trailed over his neck. "Nag, nag, nag; we both know my eating habits just make you all hot and bothered."

"Oh, they do _not_!" squawked Primus, somewhat undignified, and shoved him away.

"Methinks he doth protest too much," said Unicron with a sigh, and sat back on the endless ground.

"I do not, Unicron!" Primus was glad he had chosen a purely astral form for this rendezvous, rather than a biological or mechanical one that would show all his emotions - in face and force field, respectively. At least this way Unicron would have to Touch him to find out he was blushing like a fiend.

"Fine," said Unicron, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have eaten them. I should have chosen something newly out of the primordial ooze."

"No! They haven't had the chance to develop yet!"

Unicron groaned and slumped back in despair.

"It would be better," said Primus calmly, or so he liked to believe, "if you did not eat planets at all."

"Not for me, it wouldn't."

"After all, remember what happened last time! All that nasty business with the Matrix and the Chosen One."

"That was all your silly idea, my love."

"Well, you had to learn your lesson somehow," said Primus haughtily.

Unicron pounced. "So teach me," he purred and kissed Primus, eager as only he could be.

Primus sighed and relented. _We'll finish this discussion later._

Unicron was disgustingly amused. _Sure we will._

_I'm serious! This cannot-- Oh._ Primus broke the kiss, and would have gasped if he had lungs.

"Mm, said Unicron, self-satisfied smirk firmly in place, and gently drew his hand through Primus' essence.

"O-oh." Primus arched into the touch, eyes of blue light widening at the galaxy. "Unicron..."

Unicron continued his caresses and lowered his head to nip at Primus' shoulder. Then, closing his teeth around one mark, he began feeding. Slowly, gently, harmless in power, and oh, it _did_ feel good...

Then the mouth moved to close on his and more than Unicron's hand melted into Primus. Sparks ignited between the metal stalagmites, and star-systems swirled into being and destruction between them, amidst them, a self-contained model of creation, in between the void that consumed everything and the light that lit it. Primus deepened their kiss until Unicron's head as well merged into one being with him.

"Anyway," said Unicron at length, watching the stars shine steadily and coldly, "what about that discussion?"

"What discussion?" said Primus dazedly, quite entranced at how traces of void lingered in his essence.

Unicron smirked his self-satisfied little smirk. "Nothing, my love."


End file.
